Monday, January 31, 2011

Monday, January 17, 2011

Dirty Water

So, pat me on the back: I'm posting, once again, from home.

Ahh, home. Where you can lay in bed on a lovely Martin Luther King Day, and hear raindrops, even when it's not raining. Hear water in the...walls? Wait a second. Hear dripping in your kitchen. Shit.

This happened today, AGAIN. My building sucks. I went upstairs to politely inform my neighbors that we are all actually not supposed to have washers and dryers in our apartments, and it was apparently the first time in her thirty years of living here that she had heard of this. Maybe someone should also inform her that people also don't enjoy the sounds of banging and screaming...

A few minutes later, a woman came to my apartment door, asking me if I had something running in my kitchen. So, you see where this is going. My kitchen is no longer flooded. As for the people downstairs from me, well, that can't be said.

Life handed me some lemons today, and they smelled like moldy laundry water and carried a bedbug with them. But, don't worry, I'm really upset about something much more significant: the rumor that the zodiac has changed. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. You can keep your sign, my dearies, or, if you prefer, you can leave astrology at the door.

Today is not about astrology, but I guess it could be about my apartment, a little bit. I mean, blacks and whites are certainly living together. As for not judging each other and living in peace, I think some of us still have a little way to go.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Little Swans in Disgusting Boxes

Back by "popular" demand: I will be posting about something other than never posting! Like a big girl, I am sitting at home, typing on my computer, not breaking any rules. I'm comfortable; I've got yams baking in the oven (literally- please don't get any ideas), and I'm enjoying my beloved public radio broadcasts. Too bad I don't have too much to say.
I would like to reel about something that really smashes my grains, but I'm generally feeling okay. Except about the state of the world; that scares me a little. I mean, if you were to ask me if the world has gone crazy, I would say yes. But I've only been around for about twenty-seven years. What do I know about this crazy world, anyway?
Let's talk about film. Recently, my boyfriend and I went to see a certain film about ballerinas starring an array of stunning Jewesses, and we enjoyed it, the same way you would enjoy watching, say, snuff porn. Or bunnies being butchered, if it were attached to a compelling, melodramatic plot. So, I guess like Roger and Me? Okay, I'm not doing to film justice, but here's what I'm getting at: the movie freaked us out. It was visually grotesque. After seeing it, we woke up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of our lungs. So that's the review I've been giving everyone of the movie. Why? Because it's hilarious, and I feel that I'm giving people the fair warning that I didn't exactly receive prior to my viewing experience.
But here's the rub: most of my friends who saw it were not so fazed by the movie. I'm wondering: are we wimps, or is everyone else so hardened by our oversexed/hyper-violent media that they found it to be pretty tame? Has the world gone crazy? Yes.
Okay, five-paragraph essay, we're rounding the final curve. What did we learn? Want to go see Black Swan? Do it. Try to keep your eyes open the whole time. Um, if you tell me I look like Mila Kunis I'll give you a hundred dollars*. Thank you for reading my blog. It's good to know somebody cares. And in case you didn't know, I'm pretty sure that Arnold Schwarzenegger is no longer governor of California- I thought there would have been some sort of grand farewell...I mean, people cared about him, right? So, what I'm trying to say is, thanks for caring.

*Not really, but please do anyway.