Summer Safety Tips

Happy Summer! I know it's been summer for nine days already, and in this neck of the world we've had enough heat and humidity for the whole summer, but it's now July! It's all downhill from here; before we know it, the leaves will be changing...assuming, of course, that seasons prevail and nature doesn't go completely haywire.
Really, though, I'm excited. Now is a good time to lay in the grass, read, sleep, eat potato salad, drink lemonade, eat beer, drink chicken, and get swimmer's ear. Worship the sun, but not too hard. Revel in it! Summer is really short. Eat it up, but make sure to chew, then swallow.
This is nonsense. Goodnight!