Giving Up the Ghost, Part II

What a tease. The country was beautiful; the mountains serene, everything I hoped for. I got what I wanted: to sit on a precipice, look a long way into the verdant distance, breathe clean air. But then I had to return to the city the next day! That was the plan, and it was refreshing, but disorienting.

There was something unsettling about seeing Manhattan's skyline as I returned from the mountains. No one is trying to compete with nature upstate, no one trying to blow anyone up; buildings weren't boasting and people were happy to sit still. I know this exists in New York City, too; we have parks and beaches and people do relax. And I am happy that I got away for a couple of days; I'm just not entirely happy to be back. I love my job and am so grateful for it, but I need more green. I don't really want to be here, inside glass, concrete and stone and whatever else surrounds me. I want to know what it is: grass, trees, moss, stone, water...

I have not entirely given up the ghost. I gave it a breather, but it lingers. I'll admit that my brief excursion has brought me closer to where I want to be, spiritually, etc., and I'm knowing more and more how I want to feel and behave and live. I hope to find more peaceful balance in nature, but I can center myself in the center of the universe, too.


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