Overheard in Gym Class

So, I'm sitting in my office, which is actually part of a school gymnasium, which is actually part of the basement of a school, and my "office" is merely partitioned off by walls of fabric on wheels. What I'm saying is that I spend a lot of time listening to the sounds of elementary school gym class. A few minutes ago, some of the kids in class were addressing their teacher as "teacher," to which she responded:

My name is not "teacher." When I was born, my mommy did not call me "teacher." My name is Mrs. C-------.

Okay, lady, we all know that your mother did not give you your husband's last name upon birthing you. Let's be real.

Pretty soon after that, I guess one of the kids was burping, because Mrs. C------- delivered absurd diatribe part deux:

One day, you're going to be married. ("Ewwwww!") Well, hopefully, you will find someone and be married. And, I don't know, but if I burped like that, I don't think Mr. C------- would love me anymore.

Whoa. Mrs. C-------. These are issues to keep out of the workplace. I mean, damn, girl, the Mister won't let you burp? I understand that this was probably intended to teach the children a lesson about controlling one's oral flatulence, but is this your most clever means of spreading morality?

The moral of my story? Teaching sometimes makes people say crazy shit.