Vague Return to Real Life

I thought it would be funny to find a picture of a room in a psychiatric ward with padded walls, post it on this blog, and caption it, "More Cushion for the Pushin'," but it's really hard to find a good old fashioned funny farm photo on the internet these days! Plus, my browsing history already says, "Recent searches: padded walls," and I'm at work, so...

Anything to make you people laugh.

I'm somewhat delirious; I'm a little bit sick (physically) and would rather not be at work, and I returned to a decent workspace, but I do sometimes wonder if people are capable of completing essential, mundane tasks without explicit hand-holding direction. I won't go there, though, that's not the purpose of this blog. But really, just a note: if you ever questioned your work ethic or professionalism, do not worry about it. I'm starting to believe that anyone who even considers his or her quality as a worker is probably a good one. Because some people just aren't, and I doubt it crosses their minds. I'm not saying I don't have a good staff, but after stepping up the chain of command, I can see that some folks are just confused.

On another note: I said this already, but I cannot wait to go up to the country. I need some fresh air before I lose it. Mini road trip! I need a vacation from life, and I'm not talking about death, I just mean that I need to get away without the stress of an actual vacation. I do not want to get on a plane, I don't want to spend all of my money, I just want to stand on a hill and look very, very far. It's good for the brain.

Staying home sick after the weekend can be disorienting. I am back at my desk, and I must admit that I'm grateful for this job and for the fact that I'm not in a room full of insane thirteen-year-olds. I was stressed about calling out: the entire night before last, all I dreamt about, over and over, was calling my boss to let her know that I was sick. The dreams would not cease until I made the actual phone call! I had to cross that fine line between my sleeping and waking life...

We take it for granted- the divide between our free time and our obligations. But once we get back into the grind, even if it can be a total drag, it can sometimes align us and encourage us to relish in our freedom when we do have it. I want to be able to blur this line- to feel free even when I am at work of fulfilling any of life's requirements, and not dread having to return to "real life," when my weekend's drawing to a close. I believe that with this sort of continuity, one can feel more centered, more whole. But then what of having a separate, professional self? Do these things need to contradict each other? Ahh...too much introspective nonsense. Need to go home and lie down.